I never thought I would be where I am today. I am a city girl living in the middle of nowhere with the military. I have always been extremely proud of the people that have served before me and have given me the rights that I have today. I definitely owe that to my grandfather who also served, although unwillingly at the time, but still everyday wore a hat with the flag on it and made sure it was also displayed on the front porch and taken down with as much respect as it was put up with. I didn’t aspire to be military, I didn’t even think about it until two years ago when I joined. I can say that I have an entirely different outlook now on life and the stories in the paper. I wish everyone was taught that military is a good thing and that people would stop disrespecting when we are truly lucky that we can even speak up for our rights because of them. I do have the up most respect for the soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen that give their lives and if not that usually their sanity for my freedom. Thank you Grampa for teaching me respect and to be grateful for these people.
My mother doesn’t like me. I’m 31 years old and can honestly say she could care less about me. I was raised by my grandparents. She never bothered to come and get me. She had money, a husband, and a house and never bothered. She never married my father and refuses to tell me who he is. I wish I knew who he was. Even if he doesn’t want to know me, I would like to know who he is.
I sort of feel like an orphan.
Now I have 2 children who will never know their grandmother and grandfather. I can’t understand how these 2 people don’t care that they hurt these little kids.
I also have a daughter I put up for adoption. I sort of feel like I did the same thing my mother did, but I gave my daughter the chance of having a mother and father. I did a better job than her. I care.
I am so proud of myself.
Recently my ex girlfriend went on holiday to Paris with her new boyfriend. We’re still friends, and I’ve never been jealous or paranoid about her and other guys. But I found myself thinking about our break up, and realized why I tried so hard to stay friends with her. Because I’m still in love with her, and always have been. The day she dumped me, she thought she had made a mistake, and asked me to go back out with her again.
Pride is a dangerous thing, it prevented me from going back to her, and I’m not sure if it’s a luxury or not to be able to say, but that has been the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t do much with my life right now, but talking to her makes it worth living. My advice to anyone reading this, is don’t let pride get in the way of something so beautiful. I love you Lauren, and I always will.
I am so thankful of what I’ve been able to achieve for myself. Never cease to be proud of what you’ve done, who you are. That’s the greatest feeling.