Entries tagged with "marriage"
Who I was:
For a long time I refused to love. I purposefully disconnected myself from others, completely unwilling to give them any piece of myself. Not loving gave me strength. I was not vulnerable; I protected myself. Relationships were weaknesses and so were emotions. I was untouchable. I felt complete in the strength I had created. I wasn’t.
Who I am:
I realized the importance of connections with others. I began to see beauty in relationships and expressing emotions. I have experienced freedom in the vulnerability that is created when you care about someone. Today I am scared. I am scared that I do not know how to love. My boyfriend wants to marry me. He tells me he loves me; sometimes I know that I love him. I am afraid that neither of us will be able to make the sacrifices needed to make our relationship last forever. I want this to last forever, but I am afraid because I don’t know how. I have never given anyone any piece of me.
So much to say, where to begin?
I’ve always been a restless person. You know, the kind that knows there’s something more to do, see, or experience out there—so when I tell you that I’ve been raised entirely in the Southern United States, you might be able to understand why I feel trapped.
So I got away. I ran to Japan for a month, loving every second of my awkward exposure there. It felt more like home than my birthplace ever did, as if just that month was more comfortable than the whole life I’ve lived elsewhere. But where my comfort begins, others stop.
I’m engaged.
We’ve had such a long courtship. Almost six years worth of being in each others lives, families, hearts. I feel drawn to this place, this land of the rising opportunity and change while my partner clings to our apartment, our family, our city. We live half an hour away from family and my partner feels that even this is too far. Loving this quiet person is almost a curse. This almost phobic shyness of people holds me back. It makes me feel like I have to settle when I could be winning at life.
I’m sick of running with this sandbag of a person tied to my legs, but I can’t leave because it’s so painful to be alone. Without… him.
Do I do what feels right for me, or do I stay because I love him?
My life has been a wreck off and on my whole life. I’ve spent time as an alcoholic, a social reject, a drug abuser, and a mean person. I used to think the mean stage of my life was the reason life was punishing me, then I realized one day maybe I was punishing myself.
I now have a husband and a young son. My husband was diagnosed as a schizophrenic two weeks after I found out I was pregnant, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t go in the bathroom, look in the mirror, and blame myself. I accepted the facts and we are doing just fine five years later. Sometimes it isn’t a bad thing for things to be hectic, crazy, or a mess. I’m okay when everything is not okay.
I’ve realized over the past year that I want to be a mom. I have never wanted this before. I grew up saying that I was going to be a powerful, influential, single woman. I was going to change the world through my money and position. But something was missing.
Then it came to me one day, where do you find the most happiness? In families.
I was tickling my nephew and laughing with him when I got a glimpse of what I might feel if I were to ever have children. It was such an overwhelming feeling, it filled my chest and shot out through my fingertips. I didn’t want to let him go.
There is something divine about motherhood that I think the world is forgetting. Something in motherhood that fulfills a woman that nothing else can. There is something about a husband and a wife coming together to make a family that is beautiful and whole.
So is it silly of me to be dreaming of getting married to someone I choose to love and having children while the rest of the woman in the world are striving to rule the world?
I loved this guy in high school for six years. It’s been four years since we graduated. I’m engaged now, but not to him. I have to admit that if this guy came to me and admitted that he loved me too, I’d leave my fiancé for him.
I’ve been in love with the same person for the last 26 years. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss… Life separated us for 18 long years, he got married, had two kids, and me, I just lived on.
Last year, he finally decided to separate from his wife and come back to me. It’s been almost three months. He is now depressed because he misses his kids so much. He is hurting badly.
I cannot do anything but be there. How long will it take for him to adjust? Will he ever adjust to the new reality? As far as I can see, he is angry with himself and is not letting me help in anyway. I am very afraid he will go back to his family.
And at 40 I am again, alone.
I loved this guy in high school for six years. Its been four years since we graduated. I’m engaged now, but not to him. I have to admit that if this guy came to me and admitted that he loved me too, I’d leave my fiance for him.
I have a polyamorous marriage that is very successful. My husband is largely interested in men, and I’m bi. I’m very excited because right now I have a little boyfriend, and one that is much younger than me! It is so exciting to simultaneously experience the rush of a new infatuation AND the mature and developed love that I share with my husband.
This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but it works for me.
I just turned 29. I am married and I have a three year old. I love my wife but she can’t seem to keep a job. I don’t know why it happens. She is smart and really good at what she does but she doesn’t make friends well and that plays against her.
While I love her I can’t shake the idea of how much she holds me back. Always having to work a second job to help support us while she is looking for a job again.
I want to go back to school and finish my degree. Then she could just stay home if she wanted.
I am thinking of leaving her because if I stay I might end up hating her and I don’t want to hate her. I can stand the idea of not being with her more then I can stand the idea of hating her.
I met the person I married young (20). Knew I always had an attraction for women but never acted on it. Had too many “close minded” beliefs to allow myself to explore these feelings. After nine years of marriage, I realized I could not do this anymore. I have no regrets. I have two beautiful daughters. I am great friends with my ex and am loving life.
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