Entries tagged with "happiness"
I have had a best friend since we were both 10. I idolized her. I thought she was the kind of person everyone wanted to be. We are now studying abroad together in a foreign city and live together. It is not what I expected at all. She is extremely short-tempered, hates philosophizing, and puts me down. I don’t know whether or not to be sad or happy. Sad because she isn’t exactly who I thought she was… or happy because I am so happy with how I turned out myself. I don’t need to idolize anyone.
Hello, I’m 18 years old. I think I’m gay… funny that I’m already 18 and I’m still not sure about it. I woke up one day feeling different, strange. I live in a very very closed society, and so, I’m not really sure if I should come out but I feel repressed. Other than that I’m a perfectly normal 18 year old, I love art and I think its really easy to talk to strangers because they don’t judge and if they do, you’ll never find out. I wish everyone who reads this the strength to be happy no matter what and the courage to look for it.
One day, I was walking back to my dorm in a bad mood. I looked up and saw a man heading in the opposite direction. In his hands was what appeared to be a live lobster. He held it the way you’d hold a cat, sort of under the armpits, and when he saw me looking, he raised one of its claws in a little wave (I waved back).
This is why I love this town—it seems like, whenever I start to get really discouraged, the city of Ann Arbor steps in and says, “Here, have some whimsy on the house.”
I always thought I knew just what I wanted to do. My hobby became my major at the best school for it. One of the happiest days of my life was when I received my acceptance phone call. One of the unhappiest days of my life was when I realized this isn’t what I want to do anymore. It doesn’t make me happy like it used to when I was a child. I used to just adore the lights and applause. Now I’m embarrassed when people ask what I’m studying. I always reply “musical theatre,” I’m not sure why, with a goofy look on my face and a shrug on my shoulders. One of the happiest days of my life was when I found other things I could be happy doing. Working with deaf children. Photography. Activist. I just became a vegetarian and I want to stop everyone I know from eating meat. I can’t believe I ever ate a being. I digested pain. Now I want everyone to know what they are eating. The castrated cows. The electrified fish. The chemically injured chicken. How do people live with themselves?
For someone who always knew what she wanted to be, I am so unsure where I am going. I do not know what I want. There is something around the corner from me. I keep walking toward it, but never reach it. I don’t know if I ever will. I think that’s why I wake up in the morning. I have so many questions about me, you, us. My journey is to ask my questions. I am shallow.
September, 2009. Soon after I got back from California in attempting to find myself and shortly after I got a job,
I met the most amazing girl I’ve ever met in my life. She is the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Sometimes I’ll be sitting in this house and I’ll realize how lucky I am to be in this position. Things are tough and sometimes perilous, yet I’m still the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Today, we were both sick and yet laying in bed with her arm around me put a huge smile on my face.
I don’t think this would have ever worked out if I met her at some other point in my life. It seems that we crossed paths at just the right time and are now walking the same one together. For the first time in YEARS, I can actually say that I’m happy with life. Yes, there are faults and problems. There always is with life. But, this love is almost like a glue that fills in those cracks and makes the overall scheme of things worthwhile. One of the advisers at high school said I was the first kid she met in years that actually “gets the big picture”. Maybe that’s what this is all about. The big picture.
There are times when I have felt aimless, tired, lonely, stretched, anxious and overwhelmed. The times when people tell me I’m an idealist, to grow up, wake up and be something you are not.
I have made many mistakes and yet enough people have seen enough in me to put me in the healthy, happy situation I am today. They probably had no idea about how their own optimism concerning my character has positively affected my life. Don’t doubt that you have shaped other peoples lives for the better without even realizing it, and don’t doubt that most people in the world will not notice, appreciate or understand this. The ones who do will forever be in your debt as you are to the people who have moved your world. Believe in people, the reward is rare but worth every second.
That is the most worthwhile thing I have learned in my short time on this planet.
I have been everywhere, but I can’t find a home for myself. I know that family and my heart is where home is, but I want my own home where I’m happy at and with what I have in my life. I broke off a couple of engagements and ran away to where nobody knew me. Still, I can’t find it. Some say that’s because I’m coming from a broken home but that isn’t it. It is that because I see people are willing to chase their dreams but the question is how do they find them without the future telling us?
I wear hats for no reason and I do math homework in the bath. I say what occurs to me to say, when it occurs to me to say it and I dance around the kitchen when no-one else is at home. I like classical music and cake and talking to strangers and looking at stars and that earthy smell you get after a rainstorm. You don’t know it but I love you very much. My life is happy and people are wonderful.
About a week ago, I met a girl on a website called Omegle, this is an anonymous chatting website. We got on really well, so decided to swap MSN addresses. We have been talking loads, and we still haven’t got bored of each others company. We both really like each other, and she has put a smile on my face for about five days straight. I feel like I am overflowing with happiness, I didn’t know someone could be so amazing.
I stand alone in the world. I lost my father at sixteen to alcoholism, lost my mother five years ago to her own addiction and lost my sister to depression. I am stuck in a loveless marriage because I am too afraid to be out in the world with three children and alone. I have not been single for a moment since my father died and now I don’t know how to be. I look at people with loving families and I can’t help but be jealous. Most of the decisions I have made in life I have made out of fear. How do you get beyond fear? I continue to go to funerals every year for aunts and uncles that have never had anything to do with me… just so I will have a connection to something, even if it is another dead person. I feel as though in the end I will have only my children to show for my time on this planet, and that happiness will have eluded me the entire time.
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